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April 29th, 2009
02:42 pm - My Words, His Mouth
Caleb: I'm going to do stickers now.
Me: [silence, since I'm engrossed in IMing Laird]
Caleb: Does that sound like a plan?
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March 31st, 2009
11:05 pm - Late Nights in Our Bathroom
We've started waking Audrey up every night before we go to bed so she can use the bathroom. She's usually about three-quarters of the way asleep. One night, after she finished, I handed her a wad of toilet paper and she wiped her face with it and dropped it in the toilet. I had to be scraped up off the bathroom floor. Apparently, though, I missed her best performance ever tonight. Laird took her. She tried twice to take off her clothes before she got to the bathroom, but he stopped her and got her safely to the facilities. Then he stepped out for a moment. When he came back, she had Caleb's squishy ducky potty seat around her ankles and was trying desperately to pull it up over her legs. Laird can't even walk past the bathroom now without becoming hysterical.
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March 19th, 2009
04:15 pm - Learning a Second Language
Audrey: Okie dokie! That means "yes."
Caleb: And "azul" means blue.
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March 17th, 2009
07:19 pm - I am Jupiter!
Caleb: I am Jupiter.
Laird: You're Jupiter? You're big and heavy?
Caleb: Yeah. And I make gas.
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February 6th, 2009
12:39 pm - Hackneyed is the New Fresh
I've written before about how much I love the formulation, "X is the new Y." I spotted one in the New York Times today, in an article on why the stock market didn't fall today in response to another piece of bad economic news: "...not so bad is the new good."
I don't know why exactly but that really makes me smile. It's sort of depressing, actually, if not-so-bad is our new good. But it also makes me think that people like Laird, who are pessimistic to set themselves up to see the not-so-bad as good, are going to find that their methods of coping are experiencing a surge of popularity. Or, to put it another way, Pessimism is the new realism.
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January 19th, 2009
09:14 am - Audrey's Anthem for Environmentalists
Life would be green,
Bajoombajamba joombajamba
Life would be green,
Bajoombajamba joombajamba
(Life would be a dream,
Shaboom, Shaboom ...)
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January 16th, 2009
07:55 am - I'm ANCIENT
Caleb: Bipple is really really old.
Audrey: How old is he?
Caleb: He's 31.
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January 15th, 2009
11:16 am - Negotiations and Love Songs
Caleb is vacuuming the kitchen floor. Gupa, Bipple, Jelzba and Flora are helping. They're having a lot of friendly discussions about whose turn is next.
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January 8th, 2009
12:17 pm - Women Do!
Laird sent this "Women Do!" blog link to me; I love it!
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January 7th, 2009
10:23 am - Handy Phrases
My sister gave me a Spanish phrase-of-the-day calendar for Christmas. Yesterday's was, "I could eat a horse!" and today's was, "Kiss me!" suggesting that I should set out immediately for a Spanish-speaking country where clearly they are having WAY more fun than we are, socked in by some kind of weird wintry mix. Although the kids and I HAVE done temporary tattoos (snowman for Audrey; snake "with bananas" (yellow markings) for Caleb) and glow sticks (box of 100 from Amazon.com, includes connectors for making necklaces out of three glowsicks) and Diggers and Dump Truck stickers. What's the Spanish phrase for, "I know you're bored but it's not my job to entertain you?"
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10:21 am - Does Never Work for You?
Me: Audrey, I'm eating breakfast and I really don't want a fairy in my ear right now.
Audrey: After breakfast?
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January 6th, 2009
08:56 pm - The Researcher and the Expert
Caleb: How can we talk, Daddy? Why do we have mouths?
Audrey: So we can have nice conversations like this; otherwise we'd just go [does impression of gasping guppy].
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08:54 pm - Not Clear On the Concept
Caleb (who has met a lot of newborns recently): Can I nurse?
Me: No, bud. I don't have milk in my breasts anymore.
Caleb: You have orange juice?
Me: No, no orange juice. Mommies don't have orange juice in their breasts.
Caleb: Water? Spicy water [seltzer]?
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08:52 pm - OK, So What's in the Safe Deposit Box?
Laird and I were going through bins of the kids' artwork and found the missing tax bill from 2007 and, more frightening, Caleb's social security card. (Also a Polly Pocket doll.)
I'd better get myself to the bank and rescue Audrey's crayon-on-laser-print-paper masterpiece, "Gupa on the Swingset."
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January 5th, 2009
06:27 pm - End of Day Dialog
Laird: Caleb, how was your day? What did you do today?
Caleb: I ... with what?
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05:46 pm - Further Reason for Optimism
This NYTimes article, especially the actual list of student innovations towards the bottom, gave me a burst of hope about the future.
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January 1st, 2009
07:19 pm - It's What's for Dinner
Tonight we had "Lentils with Spinach and Soy Sausage" (Moosewood Simple Suppers) for dinner. Audrey, who liked it, described it as follows:
"This is soup powder with baked beans and potatoes and sausage, barley, and pineapple."
Caleb liked the lentils and the potatoes but not the spinach or the sausage.
No barley, pineapple, or baked beans were harmed in the making of the soup.
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December 31st, 2008
04:34 pm - Our House
Our house is--depending who you ask--somewhere between 1,200 and 1,500 sq feet. The four of us live in it with four other people? beings? creatures? named Gupa (pronounced Guh-pay), Jelzba, Flora, and Bipple. (A long time ago, other people? beings? creatures? lived here, too -- their names were Dot, Flick, and Basketball Star -- but they seem to have moved out.) As far as we can tell, Caleb invented them, but Audrey has adopted them, and since both kids seem to accept their existence, we'd be foolish not to. So there they are. They go everywhere with us. We don't know much about how they look (and it seems to vary somewhat--we've been told that they're human, and that they're not). They tend to break rules a lot (as in "Gupa did it."). Sometimes they get tokens in the games my kids are playing. Sometimes they are in the some lyrics we write. On a good day, I'd say they're imaginary friends; on a bad day, they're in charge and I'm the invisible one.
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11:05 am - Little, Yellow, Driffent, Better
Caleb says "driffent" instead of "different," as in, "I want a DRIFFENT one!!!!!!!"
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December 26th, 2008
07:07 pm - Duh, Ma
Me (slowly depressing the plunger on the Amoxicillan syringe for Caleb's fourth dose): Caleb, what does your medicine taste like?
Caleb: Like pink medicine!
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